Unique Like Everyone Else

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: Butterflies

 

I was driving to work yesterday and two butterflies, swirling in dance, crossed in front of the car.  I  suddenly became aware of the vastness of space, these two matching butterflies having found each other.  

It seemed miraculous, them with their erratic flight paths.  It's not like they made a beeline toward each other, them not being bees.  

And, then, their size.  Does one's size play into the relativity of the world's seeming vastness?   Like, if I think it's pretty spacious out here, imagine what they are thinking!!  Or, is it like peeing in the ocean?  What's a few milliliters of pee in an OCEAN??  Insignificant.  The ocean is flippin' huge whether you're a shrimp or Shamu.

But, wait -- ants.  Ants are even smaller than  butterflies.  They don't seem to have trouble finding their kind.  They are born among millions and, I'm guessing, just hop right to work, joining the multitudes already in their surround.  Ants don't need to go searching for other ants.  

No, I do sometimes see lone ants.  The scouts.  Maybe the butterflies grew up on the same bush and have been friends all along.

 

But, in that instant that they crossed my path, it really did seem like a miracle that they had found each other.  

 

 

 

 

That's what I was thinking about last night when I took the dog for a walk.

And, that's what I was thinking about again this morning with my oatmeal.

 

Big Daddy has been in Taiwan for 11 days, and finally comes home tomorrow.  Maybe we will swirl across the road in dance.  

 

I'm sure the neighbors already think know we're weird.

 

I'm cueing up some funky jams just in case! 

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: On Thursday, About Wednesday

My latest invention--well,wish for an App, and cause for Big Daddy to hang his head and palm his face with a disbelieving grin that said, are we really having this conversation??--yes, my latest invention is:  Think-o-Grams.  

I was walking to the bus stop yesterday on my way to work and I had SO MANY thoughts going through my head.  I wanted to jot them all down.  But, I couldn't stop or even jot-n-walk lest I miss my 11 a.m. freakishly-on-schedule ride.  I wished for a way to have my thoughts somehow recorded straight from my brain and sent to me in a document.  A Think-o-Gram. Because, pausing to write thoughts down or recording them by speaking aloud is disruptive to the thinking process itself, and in case of the latter, might have me looking a bit crazy, like I'm talking to myself (even though that is what I'd actually be doing...)  

Anyway...La-dee-da-dee-dee...I'm walking along.  I pass a house with daffodils in the yard.  Nay, not blooming daffodils, but dried up, brown, shrivelled, past-their-glory daffodils.  I'm shocked, SHOCKED!  We have just entered the double digit days of February!  The signs of Spring are coming and going before my very eyes, before I can even take note!  I see some purple irises across the street.  I wonder if the irises in my own backyard have bloomed unnoticed by me!  Oh, no!! I consider turning back toward home to check.

Oh, whew!! Passing another house with daffodils still abloom.  I'm cutting it close for the bus, but decide to stop and take a photo anyway.  All these thoughts in my head today with my oatmeal, though I didn't have oatmeal and would have liked to have had some for lunch, but already running late so, I shoved a bagel and apple and carrots into my purse as I rushed out the door.  Time for a photo?  Ack, I know I will regret not taking it because I already regret not snapping a shot of the shriveled ones.

 

 

 

I'm relieved to see this second cluster of Spring-y specimens. Maybe those first daffodils were early bloomers.  Kind of sad that they rushed to bloom and now are gone.  Like a 17 year old kid who gets a DUI, and then another DUI at 21, leaving six people dead in her wake.  Terrible. Horrible. That rush to bloom and then shriveling up, thinking all the glory is in being the blossom, when the beauty is really in the becoming, the slowly unfolding, the taking note of the sun's rays reaching and warming just that tiny bit of exposed freshness, savoring the sensation before stepping a little further into the light, like getting used to a hot bath, one toe at a time, and noticing and marveling details like the incongruency of that heat causing goosebumps. Yes, basking in moments, not rushing through them.

So, I missed my bus.  By like, 30 yards.  If I hadn't stopped to take the picture, I probably would have been to the corner and could have waved for the driver to wait for me. But, then I wouldn't have had a picture to  go with this post.  Plus, I suddenly had a half and hour on my hands to jot down notes about what I was thinking about, since, alas, the reality of Think-o-Grams might be a ways into the future. Better to sit and write than to wait on that bus to arrive. 

 

So, that's what was running through my head yesterday.  Thank you for listening.

And, please, slow down, People.  Pace yourselves.  Savor.  There are roses--and daffodils--to be sniffed.

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: Pacing Myself

I realized something about myself today as I was eating my once-a-week, beloved, good-carb, steamy bowl of oatmeal:  I have one speed.  

Just one.

And it's not fast.

It's not really slow per se, but, let's just say I'm not breaking a sweat.

Like, when I read in my head, it is the same speed as if I were reading aloud.  It's conversational.  

And, like this morning, when I was rushing to make the kids' lunches because I was reminded that I was taking Big Daddy to his carpool dropoff rather than him driving The Thing today...I didn't like that.  When I make a sandwich it is at that same unhurried pace. 

I'd like to think that I'm relishing life "in the moment"; I am really experiencing the smoothness of the peanut butter, finessing it across the soft, fresh bread without introducing crumbs or tearing the fragile substrate; applying the jelly carefully, in an even layer that is precisely the right distance from the crust so that when the second piece of bread is applied it won't ooze out the sides.  

It's not that I am so anal; my unhurriedness is not about perfection.  

It occurs to me that if I made an effort to move through mundane or less enjoyable "have to" tasks more quickly that I could have more time to do pleasurable things of my own choosing.  And, maybe not take three days to write one blog post. Huh.  

Something for me to mull over...at a conversational, unhurried pace.

 

Slow but steady!

Winning!

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: Love a Monday That's a Tuesday!

Good morning(ish)! 

Lots going through my head this morning as I was eating my oatmeal:

 

The sky was absolutely gorgeous!

 

 

Thank you to our Nation's veterans, and veterans-in-the-making for their service and sacrifice.  I loved seeing the posts on Facebook and Instagram of everybody's personal connections and gratitudes on Veterans' Day.

 

 

 

We went on a lovely hike with friends yesterday.

 

 

I organized a little field trip to Watts Towers.  It is on my list of 50 things to do before I'm 50.  I could visit 50 more times and  still be mesmorized by the magnificent art and structure that Simon Rodia created single-handedly over the course of 30+ years.  Enchanting.

 

 

I finally finished an embroidery project that was inspired by song lyrics by Michael Philip Reed of Steam Powered Giraffe.  AND, I bought our tickets to the Yulemas concert on December 7th!  Can't wait!!

 

 

 

And, I started to plan a new embroidery project. Details to come...

We also did a few hours of yard work and started watching the last season of Breaking Bad.  A mini-marathon is planned for next weekend to finish it up!  Mrs. H. brought over her projector, and we watched the first 3 of the final 8 episodes projected onto a sheet draped on the wall out back.  It was BIG!  And AWESOME!!  I'd even go so far as to say it was...er...DOPE!!  ;)

 

As I scraped out the last couple bites of my delicious, creamy and warm breakfast, my mind travelled from past to present, and the immediate future of dishes and laundry that still await me.  A paltry price to pay for all the fun and family time we had this long weekend.

 

Ok, hopping to it!!

Wishing you all a wonderfully short week!

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: Mid-Month

Today, with my oatmeal, I was thinking about it being the 15th of the month.  

Things happen on the 15th of each month.  Here are 3 that I look forward to:

        1.  Big Daddy gets P-A-I-D!  This is kinda new, and I like it A LOT!!  :)

        2.  One Little Word posts a new prompt for scrapbooking/art-making.  Today's word is "Color"

        3.  Cocoa Daisy releases some sneak peaks of their next Scrapbooking kit.  November's is called                                    "Stargazing" 

 

That sneak on the 15th of each month:  It's like coming home to a pot of soup simmering on the stove.  It smells great, you can imagine how good it's going to be, warming your tummy and your soul, but you can't have it yet.  Sweet anticipation.

 

Except this time.  Because I cancelled my subscription earlier this month.  I don't need any more scrapbooking stuff.  Not for a while.  But the thing with Cocoa Daisy is that Christine, the owner, not only curates beautiful collections of crafty goodness, but there are A TON of EXCLUSIVE products included from cool stamps, to patterened paper, to flair button/badges, to tags, and now wood veneer embellishments, too!  

I know taking a break from the accumulation of stuff is the right thing to do.  I knew that doing it BEFORE the SNEAK came out on the 15th was the ONLY way to do it.

 

So, I am mourning a bit this morning.  

My face is drooping like an overloaded shelf of crafting supplies.

*Sigh*

 

How 'bout you?  Anything you need like a hole in the head, and yet find that hole-in-the-head so impossibly beautiful and lovely?  As my scrappy friend M says, "Paper is my catnip."

Meow!

 

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: Wednesday Edition

The kids had Monday and Tuesday off for Fall Break, and the weekly routine has been shifted a bit.  So here it is Wednesday morning, and I am sitting down to a lovely bowl of oatmeal with a swirl of peanut butter and a few sliced strawberries.  Mmmm.

The Big Question on my mind this morning is "What am I going to wear to work today?"  I've been on a run of dressing debacles lately.  On Monday I tore the butt of my pants on the door hinge of The Thing.  A couple weeks ago I noticed that I had worn a hole into the elbow of one of my favorite cardigans.  We had J-boy's IEP meeting last week and Big Daddy alerted me upon exit, "You know your sweater's on inside-out, right?"  Um, NO! Of course I didn't know it was on inside-out!  

What made that even more humiliating was that I had another embarrassing fashion faux pas at a little pre-IEP pow-wow with the English teacher and the case manager just the week before.  Have you yet met Blaze? 

She was caught nibbling on one of my bras a while back.  Lesson learned: don't cast off your underbits and leave them on the floor when tumbling into bed, no matter how tired you are.  Well, she chewed a bit right in the center, but it wasn't too bad.  A run through the wash and still wearable by my standards. (Unlike those torn pants, but much like the cardi with the sleeves rolled a couple times.  No prob!)

Well, fast forward to after the school conference, I'm leaving feeling like my boy is once again in such a good place, with just the right supports and a good team looking out for him.  Speaking of support...as I was walking out of the classroom I felt a little jab and noted in horror that the underwire of my bra had poked through the little tear made by the dog and been working its way out, making an appearance above the neckline of my shirt.  Ack!!!  

Did they notice?  Did they think I was recording the meeting with a half-hidden mic?  Is that why they were being so sweet, understanding, and forth-coming with strategies and accomodations?  Did they think that everything they said can and will be held against them?  Was it taken the wrong way when I asked them to lean forward and speak loudly and clearly for the record?  Lol!

I have to admit that I kind of like it when embarrassing things like that happen to me because I can laugh about them for days and weeks after the fact.  J-boy has a great sense of humor and does not like to be left out of a joke, so if someone chuckles while reading or surfing the net he always wants to be clued in to the funny.  Since this crazy incident of wardrobe malfunction, many times I've answered his inquiries with, "Still the microphone."

Now, off to puruse the closet for today's disaster-waiting-to-happen.  
Wish me luck!

 

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal #4: Junk in the Trunk

Happy Tuesday!  I missed you last week!  Big Daddy was out of town at a tradeshow and I forgot to make my oatmeal until 11:30am.  I wolfed it down for lunch and was not thinking about anything other than, "Gotta GO!  Gotta GO!  Gotta GO TO WORK!"  Not very interesting blog fodder, and no time to post it either. ;)

Well, he is back, and we are resettling into our routine. 

Today with my oatmeal I am thinking about junk and the adage, "one man's trash is another man's treasure".  

Our neighbors hosted a garage sale for a friend who is moving across country over the weekend.  I love garage sales.  But I am really in need of NOTHING right now.  I like to garage sale when I am on a QUEST. Currently, my quest is for simplification, and that simplification is in the form of LESS.  We have a long way to go in this house to reach such a state, but oh, the temptation of a garage sale just steps from my front door with the cheery smiles of those neighbors was just too much.  We went.

We bought a couple of small things, two card games, a frame thingy, a folding lawn chair (good timing as we wore one out on a recent camping trip) a spool of ribbon.  Oh, yeah--and a mouse pad that I plan on cutting into stamps.

 

 

Next on the To Do list was to take a bunch of our junk to Goodwill.  I gave it all a quick last look.  Is there anything in there that has any value?  No.  I can't imagine anyone wanting any of my cast-offs.  Sure, the items are in good condition, and maybe someone could really use them, I guess.  But, I have no desire to organize and put a price on each thing, let alone sit out on the driveway for a good portion of the day in the hopes that someone will want anything.  I feel I would just end up packing it into the car and taking it to Goodwill anyways.

BUT, I love going through other people's stuff.  I love finding treasure.  I love the quirky homey-ness of a Flea Market furnished house.  

So, on this Tuesday, I continue my quest to purge, to simplify, and to make room (apparently) for other people's stuff in my home.  Well, I made a little bit of room in the oatmeal canister.  Now, looking around my kitchen and wondering why we need 14,000 wooden spoons...and trying to ignore my inner voice asking what crafty thing I could make out of them that would keep me from giving them away.  

Must...not....Google...wooden...spoon...art...

Stepping away from the computer now!

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal #3: You Can't Force Peace

It seems to me that, by definition, Peace is not something that can be forced. 

Today with my oatmeal I was thinking:

 

Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!!
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!! 
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!! 
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!! 
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!!
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!! 
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!! 
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!!  Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!  Woof-Woof!! WOOF!!! Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF! Woof!  Woof! WOOF! Woof-WOOF!!!  WOOF!!! WOOF!!  Woof-WOOF!!! Woof!  Woof!! WOOF!!!
Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!! Woof-WOOF!!!  

 

Because SOMEBODY was upset and disgruntled that her daily routine had been upended.

Yeah.  We all have to get used to this Big-Daddy-Goes-To-Work-On-Tuesdays Thing.

I had dropped J-Boy off at school, and B-dog had come with me.  The morning air was cool and fresh, a contrast to be noted and savored with the oppressive, heavy heat that was promised for later in the day. But sitting quietly with the paper, enjoying my oatmeal and savoring a hot cup of coffee in the solitude of the house was calling my name...Peace!  

Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!! Woof-WOOF!!!  Woof!  Woof!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!!

So, while it was Peace that I wanted, my vision of it needed to change.  I gobbled the oatmeal and surrendered my cup.  Blaze and I had a lovely, PEACEFUL, morning walk.  The Peace I found looked different how I imagined it, but the feeling was the same. 

And, guess what?  I was rewarded with my original vision of Peace upon return!  Win-win!

Goin' with the Flow!

Tuesdays With Oatmeal #2: Parental Guidance Suggested

 

J-Girl left for school this morning with a request form to drop her AP Language and Composition class. And I'm proud of her.  Not because she is following in her mother's footsteps (I dropped AP Lit my senior year--and never regretted it, by the way) but because she struggled with the decision.  There were tears.  She felt like she was a kid who should be pushing herself, rising to the challenge, and yet, two weeks into the school year she could see the amount of stress this class was going to put on her, the attention, time, focus, and energy this one class would require, and how her other classes would suffer for it.  (I dropped my class because I didn't like the teacher.)  

 

First Day of School, Aug. 15, 2013, Junior year of High School

I didn't know I felt proud of her until I sat down with my oatmeal to write this blog post.  (Ah, soothing oatmeal, warm and a bit heavy, like being calmed with a quilt from the inside.  Yes, I do believe it allowed me to slow down and come to terms with my truths.) For, while I did stand by J-Girl's decision, I had been questioning my parenting. 

1. Am I telling her it's ok not to try?  
2. Am I giving her the go-ahead to be ok with "average"?  
3. Am I giving up on the notion of a "good" college for her?  
4. What kind of mother doesn't push their kid to strive for more, for better?  
5. Does the taking or not taking of an AP class define whether a person is the kind who strives for success, or slides through life?  

My mom shared a post with me and my sister over the weekend, an open letter which begins, "Dear Other Parents At The Park" and goes on to ask them not to lift her kids onto the play structure.  "I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up and help them climb the ladder. I brought them here so they could learn to climb it themselves."   It's a great read--find it here.  

I thought, oh crap, maybe I am allowing her to circumvent a challenge, letting her choose to ride an elevator instead of taking the stairs.  I spent a large amount of time this weekend batting a lot of "oh, crap" thoughts around, but never sat still with those thoughts long enough to listen to the Real Me speak in response.  This morning, I could hear the Good Parent I know I am lay down some answers: 

     Answers:

1. No
2. No
3. No
4. Seriously, you're going to go there???  
5. NO!!!! 

J-Girl is going to be just fine.  In the grand scheme of things, High School is just a blip on the map--a pimple, if you will, a zit.  Don't pick at it too much or it'll leave a scar. I've raised a smart kid, a good kid who makes good decisions.  She looks at the Big Picture.  She expects success and she knows when to make adjustments and when to stay the course.  

While the competition to get into good universities seems to get harder every year, and the shear number of applicants rises and the percentage of acceptances declines, I can relax.  It's just Life.

 

Oh, and I bet you were wondering how J-Boy looked on his first day of High School!

First Day of School, Aug. 15, 2013, Freshman year of High School

 

Anyway, that's what I was thinking about today while I was eating my oatmeal.

Have a great week!

 

Tuesdays With Oatmeal

In today's edition of "If I Blogged" I would probably tell you about how Big Daddy started a new job earlier this month and now commutes 55 miles to the office once a week.  Thankfully, he works from home the other days, and even more thankfully, he is able to carpool with someone who lives nearby.

Among other changes, this leaves me to fend for myself for breakfast and my new regular feature, "Tuesdays With Oatmeal".  (I meant regular feature in my life, but perhaps I could make it a regular blog feature, maybe a stream of consciousness while I'm eating it?...no promises...)  

 

I love oatmeal.  

But it's not part of Big Daddy's 4-Hour Body dietary changes.  For giving up daily oatmeal, I've substituted my man bringing me scrambled eggs and coffee in bed every morning. At least that was the summertime routine.  Now we meet in the kitchen together and I make the kids' lunches while he makes us breakfast--admittedly a harder adjustment to make than eggs vs. oatmeal. (He was spoiling me Downtown Abbey style, but drew the line at me calling him O'Brien and making him brush out my hair.)  

So, I've taken to makin' myself a good ol' bowl of oatmeal on Tuesdays when he is off to work and I'm left to break my own fast.  The usual way is with a dollop of peanut butter mixed in, topped with sliced banana and a splash of milk (coconut, if we have it).  Yum!

Today, with my oatmeal:

I was thinking about healthy eating and how I haven't actually read Tim Ferris' 4-Hour Body book, but dang, is this oatmeal soooo good, and how sustaining a meal it is that will not leave me hungry again in a couple hours. And, I was thinking about "all things in moderation" and "are vegetarians more healthy because they don't eat meat, or because they eat more vegetables?"  And, I was thinking, boy, I haven't had enough coffee this morning to even explore or debate these ideas in my own head, and how grateful I am that I'm dining alone and don't need to engage in such discussions right now while I'm trying to fully indulge all my senses in this piping hot bowl of perfection.  

Yeah, so that was what was going through my mind this Tuesday morning.  Feel free to comment or weigh in on those thoughts.  I'm willing to discuss them when properly caffeinated. :)

Have a great day!