They say that necessity is the mother of invention.
Many of you may not know that J-Boy has had intensive in-home behavior therapy 10-15 hours a week for the past two and a half years. He recently "graduated" and we have been flying solo for the last few weeks. We were blessed with an excellent team who worked directly with J-Boy to identify and tackle issues, concerns and obstacles in the areas of Communication, Social Skills, Daily Living, Self Care and anything else that might be considered Second Nature in one's life. The growth and strides this kid made during this time are astounding!
One of the best collaborative inventions to come out of this hard-working time, J-Boy dubbed the ARM3000.
For a kid who is incredibly articultate, with vocabulary and spelling skills that earn him the moniker, Dictionary (as in "Go check the Dictionary"--a former teacher's cheeky way of telling a kid to go ask J-Boy for help) it can be confounding when he resorts to non-verbal demonstrations of frustration, or cries of doom that are totally disproportionate to the reality of a situation. And so the Appropriate Response Machine was born.
J-Boy had a blast designing it and building it with Big Daddy. He and I had a heart-to-heart to get to the real feelings behind his dramatic, end-it-all exclamations and his fiery, downright mean commands. We worked together to find the right words to convey his emotions and needs. For example:
"GO AWAY!" might mean, "I don't like what you are asking me to do," or "I need some space."
"JUST KILL ME!" might mean, "There is way too much homework," or "I don't want to empty the dishwasher because I don't want to stop playing video games."
We filled the machine's mouth with appropriate responses to many possible scenarios.
"My rabbit is fluffy?" Yes, sometimes even the most well designed pieces of technology can have a glitch in the system now and then. And, let's face it, as random-seeming as "my rabbit is fluffy" or "I like pie" may seem, they are WAY more appropriate, well, at least more acceptable, than "Die!" or "I hate you!"
So, how does this fine piece of machinery work? J-Boy will now take you through a pictorial demonstration:
First, an occurance involving an inappropriate response must be identified. When the inappropriate responder has calmed down and is ready to acknowledge that the response was indeed inappropriate, he will write the inappropriate response on a slip of paper.
(J-Boy was upset when he saw this picture until I reminded him
he was just acting angry to show how the ARM3000 works.)
The inappropriate response is submitted to the machine, and an appropriate response is generated.
The user then determines if the generated response is a) an appropriate alternative and b) conveying the actual feelings behind the inappropriate words. If not, the user may pick out another response until one appears that matches both criteria a) and b).
A brief discussion ensues, hugs are distributed, and the appropriate response card is returned to the ARM3000.
This has been a very successful tool in our ongoing work to raise J-Boy to his full, awesome, brilliant, charming, loveable potential. Thanks, Team!!
Love this!
Posted by: the dad | December 20, 2010 at 10:46 AM
oh my oh my oh my!!!! this is AWESOME!!
at 6, carmen thinks (and i do too) that she is way too big for time outs due to inappropriate responses to... ahem... anything. and for all the aba, social and self help (etc) training we've had in home and in clinical settings, this is by far the best suggestion to solve our ongoing... ahem... issues.
i've said it before and i'll say it again, Lisa - you rock and i'm taking notes -- thanks again for sharing such *appropriate* insights!
Posted by: Mrsalcazar2001 | December 20, 2010 at 11:56 AM
You all are so awesome! J-Boy is one lucky boy to have all that support around him.
Posted by: Alisa | December 20, 2010 at 02:01 PM