Unique Like Everyone Else

Tuesdays With Oatmeal: Butterflies

 

I was driving to work yesterday and two butterflies, swirling in dance, crossed in front of the car.  I  suddenly became aware of the vastness of space, these two matching butterflies having found each other.  

It seemed miraculous, them with their erratic flight paths.  It's not like they made a beeline toward each other, them not being bees.  

And, then, their size.  Does one's size play into the relativity of the world's seeming vastness?   Like, if I think it's pretty spacious out here, imagine what they are thinking!!  Or, is it like peeing in the ocean?  What's a few milliliters of pee in an OCEAN??  Insignificant.  The ocean is flippin' huge whether you're a shrimp or Shamu.

But, wait -- ants.  Ants are even smaller than  butterflies.  They don't seem to have trouble finding their kind.  They are born among millions and, I'm guessing, just hop right to work, joining the multitudes already in their surround.  Ants don't need to go searching for other ants.  

No, I do sometimes see lone ants.  The scouts.  Maybe the butterflies grew up on the same bush and have been friends all along.

 

But, in that instant that they crossed my path, it really did seem like a miracle that they had found each other.  

 

 

 

 

That's what I was thinking about last night when I took the dog for a walk.

And, that's what I was thinking about again this morning with my oatmeal.

 

Big Daddy has been in Taiwan for 11 days, and finally comes home tomorrow.  Maybe we will swirl across the road in dance.  

 

I'm sure the neighbors already think know we're weird.

 

I'm cueing up some funky jams just in case! 

 

On Boredom

Like many kids of this generation, J-Boy is a video game fanatic, always with a handheld gaming device on his person, that device usually on and in use, his head bent down and his longish, Junior High hair hanging forward helping to block any glare on the screen (and, perhaps, any glare from his mother...).  Somehow the stimulation is calming to him.  Maybe it drowns out all other stimulation that can be overwhelming, especially to a person with autism. 

I know that this obsession is not an "autism" thing.  Or a "kid" thing.  Put the portable gaming system into the more general category of "handheld technology" and there are many, many an adult who can't or won't disconnect from their various iThings during any lull in the day's flow of activity.

I was driving J-Boy to school the other morning and as we pulled out of the driveway he flipped open his 3DS and the battery died before we were a block away from the house.  We didn't have time to go back for him to grab a charger or his PSP-Go (I know, he's kinda spoiled) as a back up plan.  So I knew we needed to use the drive time to strategize how his day would go when he got free time during at school that he would usually spend pacifying himself with video games. 

To my relief, he seemed positive and calm.  We quietly drove along, listening to the radio.  Then he started a conversation:

J-Boy:  "Mom, I think I know how music was invented, and I think it is genius."

Me:  "Oh, yeah?  Tell me!"

J-Boy:  "Well, sometimes when I'm bored, I will just start tapping with my fingers and it gets sort of, like, into a rhythm.  And I think that's how it got started, by someone just being bored.  Then someone was playing around with some string and figured out that if you pluck it when it is different lengths then it'll make different sounds."

Ooo!  Knock, knock!  Opportunity, here!

While trying to keep it conversational, I went into a little dissertation on boredom, the importance of boredom, the luxury of boredom, the skill required to be "productively bored."

We discussed Early Man and his trecherous day-to-day fight for survival, how exhausting that must have been.  And before fire, how long and scary those nights could have been.  Early Man did not have the luxury of boredom; there is not really "down time" when life itself must be protected and fought for each day.

We talked about how as humans gained skills and made discoveries, tools, and inventions they gained some efficiency in meeting life's basic needs, allowing time for play, art, music, and even more tools and invention.

J-Boy found humor in the irony that this talk about boredom started because he was bored.   But he seemed to understand that giving the mind a break from constant occupation and stimulatory input would allow some of the information in there a chance to digest and perhaps grow into different or even bigger ideas and thoughts.  He seemed to "get" that one should feel very lucky to experience boredom because it must mean that all their other needs are being met.

Now, I'm not sure if this last bit was meant to be a genuine compliment, or a crack about me sitting around on my A#% all day, but as he gets out of the car at school he says to me,

"Mom, you live very efficiently.  Bye!"

Well, thanks to many a modern invention, yes, yes I do.

 

 

Autism Family Surf Camp

Growing up in Pacifica, CA and going to college in San Diego, surfing has long been on my "bucket" list.  Along with holding a koala, playing the piano, and speaking fluent Spanish.  Hmm.  Aside from marsupial-cuddling, everything on my list requires time, patience, and practice--if not some innate talent.  So, while I technically can cross surfing off my bucket list, it's now holding top honors on my list titled, Retirement Plan. 

I received an email a few weeks ago from a wonderful organization called Surfers Healing, announcing their first annual Autism Family Surf Camp.  J-Boy has been fortunate to surf at their Malibu day camp event the past two years.  It is an amazing family day at the beach, complete with lunch, treats, an opportunity for kids with autism to have some one-on-one time on a surfboard with incredibly kind and patient volunteer surfers, and to meet and relax with other families who share all the challenges and joys that come from having a loved one with autism.  So, an opportunity to spend three days surfing and camping with this group??  SIGN US UP!!!!

It was A-MAZ-ING!!

 

Create a slideshow

http://www.ucsd.edu/

This was a vacation that left me feeling so full.  My heart was full from meeting so many amazing families and volunteers.  My stomach was full from the many great meals that were deliciously prepared and provided.  My soul was full from being out in nature-the sun, sand, salt, the breeze and the sound of the waves-that feeds me; that feels like home.  And my brain and muscles were filled with such empowerment at having accomplished a physical feat and proving that, yes, old dogs CAN learn new tricks.

But all of that, ALL OF IT, would not have been possible without Izzy and Danielle Paskowitz, and their heartfelt vision to bring these gifts to autism families.  Families like theirs.  Families like ours. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  We are looking forward to next time!

 

 

Hat Trick

Big Daddy and I had been feeling...displaced. As in two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. And if TWO things can't, well, certainly FOUR things can't. And when some of those things bring friends over, and then take over the living room with gaming or movie watching, or line themselves up along a couch, each with a laptop (is that weird to anyone else??) then Big Daddy and I find ourselves pushed outside or holed up in our room to watch the other TV.

But we LIKE being around our kids. And they seem to LIKE being around us. We are pleased that they do not hermit away in their rooms. So we decided we needed some extra seating downstairs. We looked long and hard at various sofas, tiny sectionals and chairs. Our space really isn't that big. We eventually discovered that patio furniture can be of smaller scale, is WAY less expensive than indoor furniture, and was just what we needed to solve our issue.

It is a perfect place to read or crochet, do a sudoku or chat.  Tandem-ness, if not togetherness, as this area is separated by a half-wall from the living room.  Here is the first little project I created while chillaxin' in our new nook:

Little hats!

Just kidding.  They are not hats.  But when Big Daddy asked me if they were hats, I had to stick them on something!  I was especially laughing at the R2D2 pez dispenser.  Have you seen The Family Guy's Star Wars Parodies?

I resisted for SOOOO long, and tried NOT to like that show, but I love it!

 

Ok, so they are not hats.  But I'm sure you noticed the lovely paint job in that shot of our room.  The half yellow/half white wall?  We had the house repiped uh, recently, *cough, cough* and haven't repainted yet.  Still, I had to spring into action when I saw this:

 

 Ta-daaaaaaa!!!

 

Protective head gear!  Now I can rest even easier!  :)

 

Any Given Saturday

Big Daddy and I have a Saturday morning routine:  We head out while the kids are still sleeping (J-Girl asked us to stop waking her to tell her where we are going, because "it's Saturday, so she knows."), we pick up our farm box of organic fruits and veggies, head to Starbucks for the ususal, and most times, stop into the adjacent donut shop, then head home with our haul, and do a crossword puzzle together.  Sometimes we may forego the donuts and come home for oatmeal which is our weekday staple.  Sometimes we may stop at a garage sale if we are on the hunt for something in particular or something catches our my eye as we pass.  But on any given Saturday, that is our routine.

This past Saturday I was inspired to scrap the routine.  Oh, not scrap it as in "not do it anymore", but scrap it as in make a scrapbook page about it.  As we made our way to all the stops, I collected a piece of ephemeral memorabilia at each place.  Playing with the pieces in little fits and spurts, I eventually commemorated our little slice of alone time:

 

 

Here's a closeup of the journaling, because that is my favorite part
of lurking around other scrapper's blogs. ;)

 

I was pretty proud of myself for thinking to frame us with the bag handle.

 

And I like the dimension of the fanned crossword puzzle, and my hand-sketched lettering.

And, for the record, we usually don't look that good when we head out on these errands.  It's more of a roll-out-of-bed-put-on-clothes-from-the-floor-brush-teeth-and-go kind of thing.  But is is OUR thing, and we look forward to it each and every week. 

Rookie Move

Summer's here, poeple. 

Don't forget to put sunscreen on the tops of your feet!

 

 

This, after being made fun of for buying enough SPF 50 at Costco
to protect half the beach all summer long.

Slug Bug

When we were little and would go on family road trips, and there were no video games (what!?) or in-car DVD players (gasp!!), my sister and I would count Volkswagen bugs to pass the time.  Sun Bugs, the bronzy-gold metallic ones, were worth 2 points.  Lucky, the one who spotted one of them!

In my 'tween years I was introduced to a stealthier game: spotting out-of-state license plates.  First to see one of these babies would sock her friend hard on the arm with a triumphant call, "Out-of-state!  No return!" the "no return" part meaning, "no hitzees-backzees".  The bummer was you'd always lose the first round before you even knew you were playing. 

I guess as all things are like to do, the games morphed over time, and a couple of years ago I learned of a rendition called "Slug Bug" where you hit (slug) someone in the arm when you are first to spot a VW bug.  Volkswagen has since embraced the craze, tweaking it to call awareness to their entire line of vehicles with an ad campaign that demonstrates calling out any VW model by its color whenst delivering the blow.  "Green one!" "Blue one!"

 

 

We Flahertys tried to get a little creative with the game using our fondness of rhymes, AND to increase opportunities for gratuitous violence between us.  (Please know that is a joke...)  We added:

The "SUV Shove"

 The "Cop Bop"

 The "Saturn Pattern" which involved rhythmic poking

 The "Beamer Femur," a good knuckle punch to the leg for a BMW sighting

 The "Jeep Jab" and

 The "Kayak Smack" (rare, but my personal fave)

 

Big Daddy wanted to add one for trucks, but I told him I had a headache...

Anyway, this was a game for playing in the car.    Until one day, as we were coming out of a Starbucks we spotted two friendly Sheriff's Deputies enjoying a coffee break.  Two feet from them, J-Boy reaches up to enthusiastically wonk me on the head saying, "Cop Bop!!"  Can you say, "mortified"???  We scurried to the car where I explained that it was GAME OVER and why.  We agreed to go back to counting VW Bugs for points--convertibles would be worth 2.

Sadly, the game has fallen out of favor.  Part of the reason could be that somewhere along the line silver convertibles became worth 5 million points instead of just 5.  We have one that lives down the street from us.  Everyone knows it's there, and the game could end in two blocks if it is in the driveway and someone in the car decides to play and calls it out.

 

Playing Catch (Up)

Big Daddy always says, "Life is for living, not recording."  At the same time, he does enjoy my blog entries (I think!) and he definitely likes looking back at old pix of the kids and our long-gone dogs. 
That being said, he has no sympathy for the concept of being "behind on blogging"
and is more likely to pull me outside to play a little catch now and then.

 So, I decided I would do one massive post to catch you up on some of the stuff
we've been up to for the last *gulp* four months, so I can clear the slate
and leave more time for living.

 Leeeettttttt'ssss seeeeeee.......

I had a lovely getaway with my High School buddies

 

J-Boy graduated from his Adaptive Skills/Behavioral program.

 

And he had a Floor Hockey tournament.

 

The kids enjoyed sibling time.

 

 
 

I retaught myself to knit and actually made something.

 

Apparently I cooked some good food, too.

 

We had one set of grandparents come for a visit.

 

And then the other set came.

 
 

And we skyped with Aunt Vicki.

 
 

J-Girl worked on some sewing projects.

 

J-Boy had a pretty big part in the 6th grade play.

 

We almost adopted a puppy.

 

But worried it wouldn't be fair to Edward.

 

We went to Staples Center/L.A. Live.

  

where J-Girl and her buds ice-skated.

 

 

And then cheered on the Kings.

 

from all but the last row in the stadium.

 

Three of us were able to move to a lower altitude to combat severe acrophobia,
the cure for which, who knew, is cotton candy.

    


The kids grew, J-Boy surpassing his older sister,

 

which made us realize how little time there is before these kids are not kids anymore.
We down-sized one of our business ventures.

 
 

And simplified our life so we can enjoy more leisure time together
while we are, still, all together.

Doing things like playing frisbee golf at our local park.

 

 

And while we stay busy living this life that is for living,
we still take time out to record those cherished moments that make
the living of this life so very precious.

 

"I'll be right there, Sweetheart!"  
I think Big Daddy wants to head up the street to shoot some hoops. 
J-Boy's basketball season starts tomorrow.

 

Our Duck Friends

I've always had a thing for ducks. When I was in Kindergarten, a neighbor around  the corner had a duck for a pet and I got to hold it one day.  While nestled in my lap it tucked its head under my "wing", and I was hooked.  Ducks are at the top of my Fantasy Pet List.  I'll have to share that list with you another time. 

We have a neighborhood here in town that is built on a man-made water way, and it is a lovely place to go for a stroll to admire the ducks, count turtles, and perhaps catch a glimpse of an occasional heron or egret.  Big Daddy often suggests the family head over there "to visit our duck friends."  On the one hand, isn't that sweet that he proposes such activities to indulge me so?  And on the OTHER hand, are there selfish, ulterior motives at work, him thinking this will appease me and I will not feel the need for a duck of my own?   Hmm.  Ever since we installed the pond in our backyard I've been secretly hoping a couple of ducks will fly in and claim it their new home.

 

Look at that!  Ducks and turles get along fine together! 

 

J-Boy likes the coots, because he thinks they are "coot" (cute). 
I find them to be a little like high-pitched, yapping water chihuahuas. 
To each his own, I guess. 

 

J-Girl and I noticed that the white ducks seem to be more vocal than the mallards. 
Their quacking is almost conversational, and we were having a good time
translating their exchanges into English for our amusment.

 

We saw an elegant egret.

 
And a huge heron.
 
And a couple of cormorants.
 

 And a dorky duo, too.

 A lovely day, indeed.

Magical Mystery Tour

One of the neat things about living so near The Entertainment Capital of the World is that sometimes you find that the Suburban Sprawl carries with it Treasures from Tinseltown.

J-Boy has been dabbling in the Magical Arts, a hobby introduced and nurtured by his Grandma, Big Daddy's Mommy.  She and Grandpa spent the Holidays with us this year, and brought J-Boy a pre-Christmas treat, Mark Wilson's Magic in a Box.  This petite kit contained a booklet and the necessary items to perform a number of tricks.  J-Boy got to work on mastering them right away. 

 

However, one of the illusions did not seem to correlate with the instructions.  We decided to do an internet search to see if we could find some advice online.  While searching the packaging for a web address, we discovered that the company was located practically in our backyard!

I emailed them  directly wtih our question with a little "howdy neighbor" sign-off.  The email that came in response was not a written explanation to help us with the trick, but an invitation to come to their office and have Mark Wilson himself explain it!  Wow!

"Well," said Nani, Mark's lovely assistant and wife of 58 years, "don't get too excited.  We're not a storefront, just a warehouse space.  And we usually don't have customers, retail customers, come in to see us."  Ok, grain of salt taken.   For J-Boy's sake I was a little concerned that this might be another disappointment like our trip to Nintendo Headquarters. 

What we didn't expect is that we were invited to come meet a legend.  This isn't some guy who makes a buck selling little tricks in between gigs working little kids' birthday parties.  No, this is Mark Wilson, a pioneer of magic on television, called one of the most influential magicians of the 20th Century!

 

 

We were greeted by Nani and Mark, and welcomed into their office space.  Every wall was virtually covered with framed promotional posters, newspaper clippings, glossy headshots and tv stills, commendations and magical memorabilia.  Mark wowed us right away with a card trick, playing to his audience, but palying special attention to J-Boy.

 

He and Nani took us on a tour of their facility, pointing out crates that held 50 years of costumes, the original backdrop curtain from their successful televised show, The Magic Land of Allakazam, that ran for 5 years in the early 1960's (the first show of it's kind!), and a well-concealed collection of professional tricks and illusions that their company now rents to the entertainment industry.  J-Boy was treated as the guest of honor and taken deeper into the aisles for some private words with the Master Magician. 

 The rest of us still have no idea what is in that box. 
J-Boy shows great promise in maintaining The Profession's
secrets and honoring the Code of Silence. 

After the tour it was time for another demonstration of a crafty, color-changing knife trick. Though age has brought  with it a subtle shakiness to the Magician's fingers, his sleight of hand is so accomplished that we were mesmerized by the impossibility that this knife was changing from white to black right before our very eyes. 

 

What an incredible experience!  Thank you, Mark and Nani, for inviting us in for an enchanting visit!